Some of you know I've been part of my work's DEI (diversity, equity, and inclusion) efforts for the last year. Our DEI group takes turns writing a column for our internal newsletter each month. This was my submission for June.
Let’s talk about privilege.
I know. It’s a terribly fraught word these days. And I approach this with more than a little trepidation. First, I know there are objections to the way the term gets used. Also, I recognize that as someone who checks off a lot of the privilege boxes, I may not be the best person to speak up about it. But it’s something I’ve been thinking about lately, and in the spirit of Just Saying the Difficult Thing, I want to share.
What does privilege even mean?
It’s important to realize that the word privilege, when used in terms like white privilege, has a slightly different meaning than you might be used to. It is not about having been granted some amazing, tangible benefit. It’s not about being “to the manor born” or living with zero problems. It’s more about the subtle ways someone with privilege isn’t hampered.
John Amaechi—a former Utah Jazz player turned psychologist, and the first NBA player to speak openly about being gay—says it better in this short BBC video:
Who has privilege?
So, think of privilege as the things you don’t have to worry about or think about regularly. Now, when I say “you,” I mean everyone. Humans are complex; we all have more than one aspect to who we are. Likewise, we each have areas in our lives where we have privilege, and areas we don’t—all to varying degrees.
In that same BBC video, John Amaechi talks about his friends who use wheelchairs, and how understanding their experiences showed him impediments they face that he had never thought of. It made me think of some of my own experiences, recognizing areas of my own life where I both have and lack some privilege. For example:
What does privilege even mean?
It’s important to realize that the word privilege, when used in terms like white privilege, has a slightly different meaning than you might be used to. It is not about having been granted some amazing, tangible benefit. It’s not about being “to the manor born” or living with zero problems. It’s more about the subtle ways someone with privilege isn’t hampered.
John Amaechi—a former Utah Jazz player turned psychologist, and the first NBA player to speak openly about being gay—says it better in this short BBC video:
But white privilege, and indeed all privilege, is actually more about the absence of inconvenience, the absence of an impediment or challenge, and as such when you have it, you really don't notice it, but when it's absent, it affects everything you do.
Who has privilege?
So, think of privilege as the things you don’t have to worry about or think about regularly. Now, when I say “you,” I mean everyone. Humans are complex; we all have more than one aspect to who we are. Likewise, we each have areas in our lives where we have privilege, and areas we don’t—all to varying degrees.
In that same BBC video, John Amaechi talks about his friends who use wheelchairs, and how understanding their experiences showed him impediments they face that he had never thought of. It made me think of some of my own experiences, recognizing areas of my own life where I both have and lack some privilege. For example:
I worry about dim parking lots...When I first moved to Salt Lake and found an apartment I liked and could afford, I took extra time to drive through the parking lot at night to scope out the lighting situation before signing a lease. When I told a friend about this, he laughed out loud, realizing he’d NEVER thought to do that. As a 6-foot, straight, white man, he has the privilege of not feeling vulnerable in a dark parking lot, so it literally had never crossed his mind to worry about the lighting....but I have the privilege of expressing attraction.I was talking to a gay friend once about the fact that neither of us really wear our sexuality on our sleeve, but I was struck when he said, “Yes, but you never have to worry about casually expressing a crush or attraction to someone.” Too true. I don’t. I have the privilege of talking about such things, if I want, without worrying about who might hear, or how they might react, or whether it might change someone’s opinion of me, jeopardize a friendship, or cause me to be socially ostracized.I worry about accessibility...I’ve dealt with chronic knee pain for years. When I go somewhere unfamiliar, my attention is focused on finding the accessible parking, eyeing the curb height to see if I can manage it, determining that parking space A is closer to the entrance but space B is closer to the lower curb, noting whether there’s a handrail on the steps at the door, etc. These are issues others might not see, but they make my life slightly more difficult. Most folks have the privilege of walking into any old store from any old parking space without giving it a second thought....but I have the privilege of tuning in or out.Last month, news stories about the most recent Israeli-Palestinian conflict came on as I was driving. At that moment, for whatever reason, it was just too much—and I flipped to the oldies station for some music. I immediately thought of my friend and former roommate, a proud Palestinian woman who grew up in Jerusalem. I realized I can turn the news off, but she can’t not stay aware and worried and impacted. (And I could say the same of other friends and colleagues who have family and ties in that area of the world, as well). But I have the privilege of tuning out occasionally if I choose to do so.
So why talk about privilege?
The point of talking about privilege is not to make anyone feel guilty or better than. The point is to take the time to think about the ways your life is not made more difficult. It’s an absence, which makes it hard to think about concretely. But by thinking about the privilege in our own experiences, we come to see how other’s experiences are different, especially in ways that might not be obvious. And understanding those differences is a big step toward creating unity, inclusion, equity, and all those great things.
Again, I like the way John Amaechi sums it up in the same BBC video:
There is nothing but a benefit to understanding our own privileges, white and otherwise. It brings us closer to those who are different. It helps us be vigilant about the ways we treat others different than us. It helps us make a society that is fairer and more equal.
And that all sounds good to me.
Originally published in the Waterford.org employee newsletter, June 2021
