In the end, the number of prayers we say may contribute to our happines, but the number of prayers we answer may be of even greater importance.
—President Dieter F. Ucthdorf
A friend and I have talked a lot recently about the frustration of having to relearn life lessons. Case in point, I keep relearning that I should not, under any circumstances, go grocery shopping before I eat dinner. I know this, yet I keep doing it. This is how I came to be the owner of a dozen doughnuts I didn’t really want earlier this week.
On a more serious note, there are those eternally significant and foundational lessons I learn, lessons that, at the time, I’m absolutely sure I’ll never forget. Yet I find myself relearning them all the time. I’ve recently been reminded of one, so I decided to write it down. Note to self: Connecting with and helping to lift other people makes you happy.
It’s true. I’ve known myself for a long time now, and some time ago I realized that when I’m engaged with others, helping lift their burdens or just enjoying being connected, I’m much happier. It’s when I start focusing on myself—obsessing about what I want but don’t have, or situations I can’t control that I wish were different—I’m not happy. I’ve only recently given this a name, and I’m calling it “living too much inside my own head.” I’ve learned time and again that it’s not good for me. Yet, I still do it.
The trouble is, it’s really a vicious cycle. When I’m living in my head, I don’t feel like myself. And when I don’t feel like myself, it’s really, really hard to reach out to lift others. And so, I lose all connection to that thing that I know makes me happy, which in turn lets me live more and more inside my head.
I’ve been inside my head to varying degrees for a little while now. Don’t get me wrong, I think there is value in self-reflection and pondering and what a good friend of mine calls “listening to the quiet.” This is different, and it’s not necessarily a good place for me. Unfortunately, I have to keep relearning this fact.
Fortunately, God is good. And now that I’ve remembered the lesson that I’ve learned so often, he has allowed me some moments of joy by putting me in a position to be there for someone else in the last week or so. People who needed a hug or a listening ear or help out of a jam. In the "economy of heaven,” a few of the people in my path get a little of what they might need, and I get a lot of what I need at the same time.
It’s true. I’ve known myself for a long time now, and some time ago I realized that when I’m engaged with others, helping lift their burdens or just enjoying being connected, I’m much happier. It’s when I start focusing on myself—obsessing about what I want but don’t have, or situations I can’t control that I wish were different—I’m not happy. I’ve only recently given this a name, and I’m calling it “living too much inside my own head.” I’ve learned time and again that it’s not good for me. Yet, I still do it.
The trouble is, it’s really a vicious cycle. When I’m living in my head, I don’t feel like myself. And when I don’t feel like myself, it’s really, really hard to reach out to lift others. And so, I lose all connection to that thing that I know makes me happy, which in turn lets me live more and more inside my head.
I’ve been inside my head to varying degrees for a little while now. Don’t get me wrong, I think there is value in self-reflection and pondering and what a good friend of mine calls “listening to the quiet.” This is different, and it’s not necessarily a good place for me. Unfortunately, I have to keep relearning this fact.
Fortunately, God is good. And now that I’ve remembered the lesson that I’ve learned so often, he has allowed me some moments of joy by putting me in a position to be there for someone else in the last week or so. People who needed a hug or a listening ear or help out of a jam. In the "economy of heaven,” a few of the people in my path get a little of what they might need, and I get a lot of what I need at the same time.
It all reminds of me of President Uchtdorf’s words at the October 2008 General Relief Society Meeting. He said:
In the end, the number of prayers we say may contribute to our happiness, but the number of prayers we answer may be of even greater importance. Let us open our eyes and see the heavy hearts, notice the loneliness and despair; let us feel the silent prayers of others around us, and let us be an instrument in the hands of the Lord to answer those prayers.For me, I know I’m happiest when I remember to follow this advice. So, my friends, if you ever need anything—a hug, a ride, a listening ear, a cupcake—please let me help. You’ll be doing me a favor.
Susan,
ReplyDeleteI love you. That's all :).
Emily H.
p.s. Just so you know, you HAVE been there in moments of need for me, even if you didn't know it, so thank you.